Site Title✦ ADHD | Autism | Emotional Processing | Trauma Healing ✦

By Kevin | BrainButterfly.org

On July 11, 2025, I stood at the Brantford Courthouse, papers in hand, my 7-year-old son at my side. We weren’t there just to file an affidavit — we were there to protect his rights, to seek justice after someone we trusted crossed a line.

As a father and as someone with ADHD, I knew walking in that this wasn’t just paperwork. It was emotional labor. But what I didn’t expect was that our biggest battle would be for basic respect.

I approached the counter calmly. I asked, politely, if I was doing it right. And almost immediately, I felt it — the shift, the dismissal, the resistance. Her tone turned cold, her words clipped, her patience gone.

I told her softly, “So just so you know, I have ADHD, so I process things a little bit differently.”

Her answer? “Yeah, I’m aware. I’m quite aware of ADHD.”

When I explained that my son and I were feeling triggered by her tone, she replied, “I can’t talk to you any other way, sir.”

And then she was done with me.

Both my fight and flight were triggered at the same time.

My nervous system wasn’t just tense — it was stuck in the hurricane.

But this time, I wasn’t alone.

I had one of my superheroes beside me: my son.

We stood there, father and son, two neurodivergent souls weathering the storm, asking calmly to be seen and heard.

And here’s the truth: calm was my weapon of choice.

I didn’t raise my voice. I didn’t storm out. I stayed. And in the end, it wasn’t me who escalated — it was her.

When another clerk stepped in — calm, kind, patient — everything changed. We completed the process smoothly, no anger, no incident, just humanity.

This isn’t just my story. It’s the story of every neurodivergent person who stays calm, explains themselves, and still gets dismissed.

It’s the story of kids like mine, who are learning too early what it means to be misunderstood — and what it takes to survive in systems that were never built for their minds or hearts.

That’s why I founded BrainButterfly.org, ADHD Child Fund™, and Heather’s Haven — because we shouldn’t have to fight twice: once against the system, and once to prove we’re worthy of dignity.

If you’ve been here, I see you.

You’re not alone.

And calm is still your power. 💛