By Kevin | BrainButterfly.org
Thereās a moment every neurodivergent parent recognizes.
When a jokeāmeant to be playfulāsuddenly turns into a flood of tears.
That moment happened with my son.
Like many kids with ADHD and big hearts, my son is still learning the invisible social rules of joking. He tries on humor the way some kids try on shoesāseeing what fits. But when he called me a silly name and I jokingly responded back with āoh come on,ā it didnāt feel silly to him. It felt like a sting. And he burst into tears.
This is where the real learning beginsānot about behavior, but about emotional safety.
Neurodivergent kids often:
Use joking to connect, but struggle with boundaries Donāt always recognize when a joke feels too sharp Feel deep rejection when a playful comment backfires Are incredibly empatheticāand may cry from guilt or shame
Thatās why we created the Feelings First Joking Guideāa printable, visual tool to help my son (and other kids like him) learn to recognize safe, shared humor from hurtful teasing.
What We Taught:
Jokes are like boomerangs. If you throw them out, they come back. Make sure theyāre soft! Create a āPlay Bubble.ā Everyone agrees weāre being silly. Use a āStop Bubble.ā If something hurts, we pause, not punish. Have repair language. āFriendly fire?ā or āThat one stung.ā
š„ Download the full toolkit:
Visual guide Stop/Play Bubble cards Joke Practice Worksheet Parent-Child Conversation Guide
š§” Helping my son understand his emotions is part of helping him love his whole self.
We donāt shame the tears. We listen to them.
ā”ļø Help fund trauma-informed resources for kids like my son:
š¦ Learn more at BrainButterfly.org

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