Site Title✦ ADHD | Autism | Emotional Processing | Trauma Healing ✦

Where neurodivergent minds take flight and sensitive hearts adapt.

🧠 When the Messages Come Faster Than My Brain Can Respond

By Kevin | BrainButterfly.org

I read the text.

Then I read it again.

My brain didn’t freeze—

it just didn’t finish loading.

And while I sat there, trying to sort through feelings, tone, and what I even wanted to say,

the follow-up messages rolled in.

ā€œ???ā€

ā€œAre you ignoring me?ā€

ā€œHello?ā€

ā€œWhy won’t you answer?ā€

And suddenly I wasn’t just processing the first message—

I was drowning in five more.

None of which I was ready for.

This Is the Part No One Sees

People think I’m rude. Or indifferent.

But the truth is, my nervous system is still buffering.

I need time.

To breathe.

To feel what just hit me.

To organize my words before they come out wrong.

But the world moves fast.

And most people don’t have the patience to wait for my full response.

So instead of giving a thoughtful answer, I either explode or shut down.

What’s Really Happening

For neurodivergent people—especially those with ADHD, autism, or trauma—

communication isn’t always about logic. It’s about regulation.

If my nervous system feels safe,

I can respond with clarity.

If it doesn’t,

I’m stuck in freeze, fawn, or fight.

And no amount of question marks will pull me out faster.

What I’m Learning to Say

ā€œI saw your message—I just need time to respond properly.ā€

ā€œI want to reply with care, not panic.ā€

ā€œI’m not ignoring you. I’m processing.ā€

It’s not about avoiding people.

It’s about honouring how I communicate best.

For the Ones Who Need to Hear This:

🧠 You are not rude for needing time.

🧠 You are not broken for being overwhelmed.

🧠 You are not a bad friend or partner or parent.

🧠 You’re just a human with a sensitive, beautiful brain.

And the people who matter?

They’ll wait for your nervous system to catch up.

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šŸ¦‹ With compassion,

Kevin

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