By Kevin | BrainButterfly.org
I read the text.
Then I read it again.
My brain didnāt freezeā
it just didnāt finish loading.
And while I sat there, trying to sort through feelings, tone, and what I even wanted to say,
the follow-up messages rolled in.
ā???ā
āAre you ignoring me?ā
āHello?ā
āWhy wonāt you answer?ā
And suddenly I wasnāt just processing the first messageā
I was drowning in five more.
None of which I was ready for.
This Is the Part No One Sees
People think Iām rude. Or indifferent.
But the truth is, my nervous system is still buffering.
I need time.
To breathe.
To feel what just hit me.
To organize my words before they come out wrong.
But the world moves fast.
And most people donāt have the patience to wait for my full response.
So instead of giving a thoughtful answer, I either explode or shut down.
Whatās Really Happening
For neurodivergent peopleāespecially those with ADHD, autism, or traumaā
communication isnāt always about logic. Itās about regulation.
If my nervous system feels safe,
I can respond with clarity.
If it doesnāt,
Iām stuck in freeze, fawn, or fight.
And no amount of question marks will pull me out faster.
What Iām Learning to Say
āI saw your messageāI just need time to respond properly.ā
āI want to reply with care, not panic.ā
āIām not ignoring you. Iām processing.ā
Itās not about avoiding people.
Itās about honouring how I communicate best.
For the Ones Who Need to Hear This:
š§ You are not rude for needing time.
š§ You are not broken for being overwhelmed.
š§ You are not a bad friend or partner or parent.
š§ Youāre just a human with a sensitive, beautiful brain.
And the people who matter?
Theyāll wait for your nervous system to catch up.
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š¦ With compassion,
Kevin

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